Dec 5, 2008

Oh no, not again!!!

One thing is for certain, we definitely have a toddler in the house. This week Austin has gotten into Hunter's bag of gumballs, clogged the toilet with toilet paper, torn numerous books, gotten every toy out in the playroom in a matter of seconds, hit me, bit me, taken all the garbage out of the bag...3 times, and ate all the candy in the cute little dish on my table...yep...we definitely have a toddler!

Toddler Rules
Author Unknown

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must be written with
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.

If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

I don't know about that last line...I don't get hugs.


Jerusha said...

Oh that is so funny and true. I find it funny how 10 seconds alone can make or break a day.

Nicole Howard said...

Oh yes...I know, live and feel your pain! What is that they say....Enjoy these times because they pass too quickly???;)

Jeremy and Sherri said...

Ditto to Nicole!! Why are things like that so funny - when they are sooo TRUE!! Life gotta love it - My brother says I wonder if Heavenly Father just laughs at us sometimes with the things he sends to us - I would :)

The Bergquist Fam said...

i love your ode to toddler hood. very fitting picture too!

Chris and Sarah Seymour said...

i can't help but laugh....austin is hilarious. i can't laugh too long though because before you know it i will be in your shoes. thanks for the heads-up!!!

Charlotte said...

Your little guy reminds me of Tommy! He could find a way to get into trouble no matter what you did to prevent it! And Paige is just as bad! I was downstairs stamping and she was upstairs jumping on the couch with baby powder all over the place.